Weakest Comic Book Supervillains Your Grandma Could Beat In Her Sleep

The most memorable comic book villains are those that physically fight our heroes on every level. But what about the weakest DC villains or Marvel villains, who would rather flee in terror than engage in a fistfight? After all, not every individual on the planet is endowed with superhuman physical ability, and the same holds true for the made-up worlds of comic books.

There are no Abominations, Doomsdays, or Thanos on the list. No, we’re discussing the weaker end of the “supervillain” range. Individuals such as the Trapster and Calendar Man. How can Ten-Eyed Man win a battle if he can only see through the fingertips he has to hit with?

In a one-on-one duel, doesn’t Kite Man’s kite get in the way? Also, we believe you could simply walk on Mister Mind and call it a day. Let’s go through some comic book supervillains you could definitely beat up if you had to.

Stilt Man

Stilt-Man is such a hilarious character that it’s impossible not to like him. Wilbur Day is the type of goofy villain who could only have been invented during the Silver Age of comics, and he originally appeared in the pages of Daredevil #8 in a story titled “The Stiltman Cometh!” in 1965. In that specific case, Day thinks to himself, “I’m invincible as long as I’m in command of my stilts! I’m utterly unbeatable!” Unfortunately for him, the stilts appear to be difficult to master.

With a center of gravity as high as the sky, tripping him up shouldn’t be too difficult. Everyone from Iron Man to Spider-Man has faced off against Stilt-Man and discovered him lacking. He is now recognized as more of a parody villain than anything like a legitimate supervillain. Characters like Stilt-Man, on the other hand, are what make comic book reading so enjoyable.

Arcade

Arcade is the epitome of a gimmick villain in Marvel Comics. Arcade, like the Riddler, has an obvious fixation with all things arcade game-related. And if you believed some segments of gaming culture may be poisonous at times, Arcade is here to prove you wrong. We’re not sure why he enjoys kidnapping superheroes and putting them through arcade-themed gauntlets, but he definitely does.

Arcade is most famous for his repeating “Murderworld” death trap/theme park. Since its introduction in 1978’s Marvel Team-Up #66, it has taken several incarnations, but the core idea has been consistent: A superhero or superteam finds themselves stranded in the deathly amusement park,  ultimately beat Arcade’s games handily, and mete out the appropriate amount of justice. And though he always loses and gets a solid beatdown, he returns for more.

Simon Hurt

Simon Hurt is a one-of-a-kind character that can only exist in comic books. Thomas Wayne (now known as Dr. Simon Hurt), Bruce Wayne’s devil-worshipping ancestor, is as bit as terrible as his fictitious name indicates. He is an eternal entity that enjoys wicked schemes and hypnosis. He was last seen in Nightwing #20 in 2017, where he looked to have been killed. We don’t believe he’s gone for good.

But, aside from an extremely long lifespan, the brilliance that comes with decades of study, and hypnotic abilities, what type of combat ability does Simon Hurt possess? None, to be precise. His only defenses are the ludicrous theatrics he devises and those he controls with his mastery of the mind.

Midnight Man

If we’re being honest, “The Midnight Man” is a pretty great title. This comic book villain, on the other hand, arrived and went with little to no notice. The Midnight Man makes his one and only appearance in 2014’s Batgirl #30, when a bunch of inebriated high school teenagers play an urban legend game akin to “Bloody Mary.” They form a circle on the ground and chant, “Tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, tock, The home is still, the walls are thin, and the Midnight Man creeps in.”

When this morphing mass of evil arrives in Gotham City after the gang falls asleep, believing they’ve failed, they certainly receive more than they bargained for. Eventually, Batgirl rushes to their aid, and after some deliberation, she devises a plan to utilize a pinch of sage, since “sage is toxic to bad spirits.” And everything works flawlessly. There’s no bother, no fuss. Just keep sage on hand at all times, and you should be OK.

Calendar Man

When you’ve been in the comic book business for as long as the Dark Knight has, you’re sure to have some strange, non-threatening individuals in your rogues’ gallery. There is a Clock King for every Ra’s al Ghul. There is a Crazy Quilt for every Joker. And Julian Day, the Calendar Man, is just as strange as any other thief in Gotham City, if not more so.

While the original version of the character was a man fascinated with dates and calendars, the version introduced with DC’s New 52 reboot in 2011 is just a regular person who dies every winter, only to be revived as a younger man in the spring, and the cycle continues year after year. You don’t have the type of power set that would make you a danger. The Calendar Man appears to be a one-off joke in one of Marvel’s X-Men comics, but he is actually a rather well-known part of Batman’s list of villains. He’s never posed much of a threat to the Caped Crusader.